Most of us probably have been through a phase where we constantly look for that perfect partner, the one who would love us unconditionally and fully. We get in a relationship hoping he’s the one but after butterflies settle down, the inevitable disappointment comes when we realize he’s still not the “One”. We break away from that relationship and start looking for a new one. But the next comes and still after awhile we yet again realize he’s not the “One”. And on and on it goes, search continues.
We tell our friends and ourselves that there must be someone out there perfect for us, and others say “You just haven’t found the One”. We buy into those beliefs and keep looking for years and years.
Sounds familiar? Some of us eventually find someone and marry them only eventually again to realize that it’s not the perfect partner they appeared to be. But now we’re married and maybe have kids, so ending a relationship isn’t so easy. So they stick with it but deep down feel unhappy and disappointed, or worse a failure. They might get divorced and completely give up on finding someone. And some are still looking, forever looking.
So how do we finally find that special someone? How do we end this crazy search for the “One”?
We stop looking outside ourselves. We go inside, we connect with our Inner Child. We heal the childhood wounds, we give our child the love they needed when they were small, we complete ourselves from within. We fill our heart with love for ourselves.
Once we do that, we are ready to open ourselves up to the love from another. We no longer look for someone to complete us (since only we can do it ourselves) and we simply share our and their love. We don’t expect the other person to become that perfect someone so that we feel better about ourselves. We already feel full and complete. And now we can see the other for who they are and perhaps the partner who would join us on this beautiful journey we call life. Then love is not a chore or a force, it is a flow and exchange. It is giving. Only then can we relax in a relationship and enjoy anything that comes with it, love and joy, and so are struggles and conflicts. For this is natural for all relationships, but we now have a reserve of self-completeness to navigate those times.
So if you’re ready to stop that crazy search for the “One”, start within. And as always I’m here to help.
